Adolescence is observed with high changes in youth that they pass through, therefore, experts say that families should be careful towards their children during this time.
The changes that they are going through are not physical changes. Their interest, manners, behaviors also undergo those changes. During this period, the children start questions his parents` behaviors.
The children, who thought that his parents are doing the right thing until this time, begin comparing them their peers` parents and criticize them.
Specialists say that those changes in adolescence have also an impact in children`s social interaction. They start and mostly prefer to spend more time with their friends rather than their families, and they chose their friends and families to talk about their problems. They see the group of friends as a shelter of a support to lean in time of troubles with their parents.
It is important for adolescents to be liked and approved by their peers. Unlike childhood, in adolescence the children starts choosing people with the same interest and values alike theirs, and develop emotional ties with their friends. The friendship that they make in this period prepares them for the next period, which is adult. Eventually, by making friends, they start feeling as a respected individual. They get focused on solving their problems, either by himself or with the friends. And all these help him to develop self-confidence.
“Conflicts part of the development”
Specialists state that the conflicts are the parts of the normal development. Many of the conflicts occur during this period. Majority of parents deny the adolescent`s wish by saying that he/she is still a child, however they fail to see them as a child when they reminds them of their responsibilities. These incoherent arguments cause the breakage in their relations. Nevertheless, they are inevitable and are the parts of the normal development.
No conflicts at all may point to the problem as well. The fact that, the children who do not question themselves or their parents are also the real sign of a matter. Therefore, parents should take the negative reactions of their children into the account and understand that it all stems from the period they are in.
Parents should especially be careful with the things below.
Set measures: During adolescence, the youth object to their parents, criticize them, want different new things and stay indifferent to them. Parents with this situation may be grappled with how they should react. Set consistent measures and make some limits. The amount of pocket money, arrival times, etc. may be included in these measures. However, too much pressure or too much freedom are not right thing to do by applying these measures. Because those factors can expose them to the influence of their friends. They also may show some risky behaviors at that time. That is why, it is important to approve them as separate individuals from their parents.
It is necessary to value their wish and demands, allow them express their views; however, it is better within some limits. Parents should discuss these limits with, listen to them on this matter, and the limits should be soften in case if it is necessary.
“Respect their privacy”
Listen to them: During this period, the youth appear to express their views that are different from their parents’. In this case, parents should be very careful and delicate to listen to their ideas with an acceptable attitude, and try to understand them even if they don`t agree with them. They should avoid forcing their ideas on them. The opposite may affect the communication with them. It may also lead them to share less with the parents.
Respect their privacy: having privacy or a private zone is very important for them. The room is their own private zone, and they start closing the door of it and having his setting there. The intruders inside room may cause him discomfort. For this reason, be always careful to knock at the door before entering the room. Try to stay away from organizing his room as much as possible and let him have his own order there.
Appreciate and show your love: Due to the rapid physical changes experienced in this period, the youth may go through some emotional changes as well. While being away, they need to feel love of their parents as much as they did in the past. However, parents should demonstrate their love in a different way from that of they did.
Because the youth may become a little bit uncomfortable in terms of physical contact, or of words expressed with love and care. Therefore, parents should be attentive to listen to them and respect their ideas and views. Showing interest, appreciating the achievements and considering their mistakes with empathy are also good ways of demonstrating your love.
“They need your trust”
Stop criticizing: In adolescence, dress style, social circle, attitudes and behaviors that the youth show turn to be disturbing to their parents. Nevertheless, it is the time when they are very sensitive and very fragile to any critisizm they are exposed to. So, that is why, it is better for parents to avoid criticizing, judging and underestimating them.
Trust them: Parent are especially getting concerned with their children as they start growing. The idea whether their children are telling them lie may cause suspicion in them. The skeptical approach of a parent may result in much restrictions on them. However, the youth need their parents` support and trust. Trust is only powerful tool that helps youth to develop self-confidence. For that reason, parents should leave their skeptical approach and evoke their their trust in them.
No much pressure on friends circle: They start spending more time with their friend during adolescence. It is a part of normal development, and youth need to move away from their parents during that time. With the moving of their children, parents become very nervous and anxious, so in this case they may interfere with their friend relationships and try to prevent them from ill influences.
This inteference may cans conflict between parents and children. Furthermore, it can lead them go further to be under the influence of their friends. That is why, parents better avoid such inteference and set them free to choose their friends on their own.
Talking about their friends without showing any critism will let you more close relation with your children and you will get a chance to know their friend from their own words. Meeting friends and family gathering are also sa good way keeping track of your children`s relationships.
Be honest: Being honest is very important towards them. İnsecere behavior, deceving, imcomplete information may shake their trust in you. Telling the trusth is always bitter, however it is a seed in forming trust in you. Thus, you will start noticing how your children growinn and getting mature. And remember, being always encaureges them being honest with.